Hello, this is Ditto.

We often look for the cause in the other person's shortcomings. We point fingers, telling ourselves, "They are so selfish," or "They are far too arrogant."

Yet the German author Hermann Hesse sharply illuminated this uncomfortable truth in his novel Demian:

"If you hate a person, you hate something in them that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves does not disturb us."

In psychology, this is known as 'projection.' It refers to the subconscious defense mechanism of projecting our own repressed desires or shameful emotions—parts of ourselves we refuse to acknowledge—onto others and condemning them for it.

If someone’s boasting feels uniquely intolerable, perhaps you need to look inward and ask whether an intense yearning for recognition is hidden deep within you. If someone’s lethargy makes you uncontrollably angry, it may be because you, too, desperately want to lay everything down and rest, yet continue to drive yourself without mercy.

The friction that arises in relationships is not a signal to diminish or tear the other person down. Rather, it is a quiet invitation to gently examine the shadowed underbelly of the universe that is 'myself.' Others are always the truest, most honest mirrors reflecting who we are.

Would you pause and listen closely to what that person who makes you so uncomfortable is secretly revealing about you?

[Poem of the Day]

Confession / Yun Dong-ju

In a copper mirror encrusted with green rust,
My face still lingers;
As a relic of what fallen dynasty
Is it so deeply disgraced?
Let me condense my confession into a single line:
— For twenty-four years and one month,
What joy did I ever hope for to keep on living?
Tomorrow, the day after, or on some distant, joyful day,
I shall have to write yet another line of confession:
— Back then, at that youthful age,
Why did I offer such a shameful confession?
Night after night, let me polish my mirror
With the palms of my hands, with the soles of my feet.
Then, walking alone beneath a falling meteor,
The sad silhouette of a traveler
Shall emerge from within the glass.

Pulling back the arrows of blame aimed outward, I gently shine a lantern into the quiet cellar of my heart.
Only when we lay down our sharp-edged resentment toward others can we finally embrace the wounded child within.

May tonight be an evening of gentle reconciliation with yourself.

This was Ditto.